Thursday, May 26, 2011

Top 20 Things You Don't Want To Hear When You're A Hospital Patient

You just KNOW that I couldn't stick to 10! These are all things I really heard during my ten day hospital stay. When reading #1, keep in mind these pictures of the glass enclosed cylinder I was in. So without further ado, here are the top ten things you never want to hear when you are a hospital patient:

1. Tornado warning
2. Oops!
3. What's this?
4. The cafeteria special today is Moo Goo Dry Pork
5. Good morning! You've been here so long, it's time to test you for secondary infections!
6. I'm extending your drug regimen
7. Don't mind the man in the next room. I know he sets off the alarm and screams a lot, but I assure you that he's harmless.
8. From man in the next room: Hey! It's almost nine o'clock! We gotta DO something!
9. We're out of grape popsicles
10. The doctor has just ordered a stat blood test and wants it read within the hour.
11. HOW many days have you been in here?
12. We need to interrupt some of these I.V. drugs, there's not enough hooks on the pole.
13. This vein is shot. Time to page the I.V. nurses to find a new one!
14. I think we forgot to change the furnace filter at home.
15. We only have extremely low sodium ginger ale
16. The regular doctor is on vacation, so you will get a different one every two days. But don't worry, they read notes very well.
17. Did you know that the three rooms surrounding you are all in isolation?
18. We need you to eat, with no protein you won't heal.
19. If this continues, we will have to remove your I.V. and put a port in your collarbone.
20.You must have a very high tolerance for pain!

But don't worry, it all has a happy ending. I got through all this and more because of the many kind and sympathetic nurses and doctors, and my wonderful husband! I had many signs along the way that God WAS with me, he even directed our footsteps by putting heavy fog on the mountain so that we had to to to a different hospital than I the one wanted. And of course His choice was so much better than mine.


"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, he will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5,6

34 comments:

Lucy (aka rharper) said...

yeah.......I don't like being in a hospital at all. The docs I don't mind but the nurses . . . . some of them are just not nice. But then I absolutely could not do that job so kudos to all of them. Here's hoping you had none but great people around you.

Mildred said...

The worst hospital stay I had was a week with pneumonia and my room was situated across the hall from the cleaning closet!!!!!

I am praying earnestly for you, Phil and the doctors, Ginny.

S. Etole said...

I've heard a couple of these ... the oops! one is never a good one to hear!

So glad you are home and healing.

Brenda @ It's A Beautiful Life said...

Glad you've taken your dose of best medicine through all this... I think #16 was my favorite!

Blessings for full recovery!

Glenda said...

Ginny, I so admire your wonderful sense of humor - and your trust in God - during difficult times! I pray that you continue to heal.

Chatty Crone said...

Ginny - you know what girl - in spite of all the top twenty things you don't want to hear in a hospital (and I am sure you heard them all) - you kept your wonderful sense of humor - I'm glad they didn't take that out of you.
sandie

Mary said...

It is so good to have you posting again. I imagine it will be a while before you're 100% but baby steps are good too. Take care, Ginny. Blessings...Mary

kanak7 said...

Wonderful to read your post Ginny! Thanks for the smile on this Friday morning! It's 6.32 and I'm on my way to the kitchen for my first cup of tea. Looking forward to the day...I hope your weekend is good too!

Ruth's Photo Blog said...

SO glad you are able to make fun of a serious situation.Having a lighter attitude must speed the healing.

LV said...

I am so sorry you had to be in the hospital for ten days. That is awful. I hate staying one night. I trust things start improving all around for you and family. For someone that has been through what you have been and still make light of it, I admire you greatly. Dear Lord bless and keep this dear lady and her family. To your question, I am doing okay since the severe storms have passed.

Stephanie V said...

You have such a wonderful attitude! Hospitals make me cringe.

Karin said...

So glad you are home and recuperating. If your sense of humor is an indicator, you should be back to normal very quickly. You've listed 20 things I certainly would not want to hear! My most uncomfortable to hear last year was, "Dr....., you were supposed to glove and gown - she's on precautions!" He didn't touch me or anything in the room, but forgot to follow protocol - poor guy!!

Get well soon! Blessings1

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

This post made me laugh, Ginny! I know your illness was no laughing matter and yet you were able to keep up your good spirits and remember all these "things you do not want to hear" from your stay. :)

Continue to get rest and follow doctors orders so you'll be A OK again soon!

Sonya said...

Oh I hope you are on the mend. I had diverticulitis but it was much easier than yours. I did have a huge polyp cut out that was almost blocking things and now all is better. Those antibiotics were killers.

Trying to follow you but I don't see the follower button. I'll save the link on my PC though. I believe I came upon your blog from "Gracie Owns Me". You take care!

Sonya

Bobbi said...

LOL!! Thanks for the laugh, Ginny. These were great. How many days were you there altogether? Are you on a strict diet now? Are you feeling better every day? I missed you and I'm so glad that you are back. LOVE THIS POST!

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Oh You are just amazing, my Friend.... What got you through all of this --and will continue to get your through it is your tremendous sense of humor.

I haven't been in the hospital much in my life ---but I've heard crazy stories about it all of my life... The best one is when they come in your room in the MIDDLE of the night and wake you from a sound sleep to give you a sleeping pill... ha ha

Love your hospital story.. Please take care of YOU--and thank Phil for taking such good care of you.

Hugs and Prayers,
Betsy

SquirrelQueen said...

Ginny, I love your sense of humor. You are one of the few people I know who could come out of a serious situation and hospital stay and still find humor in the whole thing.

They say laughter is the best medicine! Get well soon.

Joanne said...

I love your sense of humor! and Amen sister! God most certainly sent you to that hospital. God is Good! Blessings, Joanne

Regina said...

You must be feeling better and at least your spirits are up..you didn't lose your sense of humor! That oops one would raise my eyebrows and aways the somebody next to you! Does it seem like you were in their that long? The photos had a strange way of putting everything into perspective! Praying and wishing you well-

pam said...

oh my...some of those were funny. Praying the great Physician continues to heal!

reanaclaire said...

i can understand what you have gone thru.. i have been admitted few times before and seriously, i dont like it a bit! i have a low tolerance when it comes to pain.. in fact i cried when i was on the way to hospital last time.. my fear overcometh me...
anyway, glad you are back in your cosy home now...

Stacey Dawn said...

Great list - and I would have to agree with you that if I heard them - I would not be too thrilled! Though the Moo Goo Dry Pork cracks me up. So glad you are healing! Have your email - will write back soon!

Arti said...

You have an amazing sense of humour and I am so glad to have my friend Ginny literally back in action! I hate/am scared of anything that's related to hospital, doctors, medicines and all and thankfully have never been there much!

Take care and Get fully well soon :)

DawnTreader said...

I'm sure your ability to see the humour in things helps a lot a well!
:)

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Wonder what was up w/ the guy next door?
So glad you're home at last!

After having the boys, I always hated hearing, "No, you can't take a shower yet" and "Sorry, you're going to have to use the bed pan".

Deborah said...

Ginny, is it OK to laugh...I chuckled but it's a nervous laugh. Funny after the fact but not funny at the time. Isn't is wonderful how God put you in the right hospital. I totally believe in that. Your Angels were behind the wheel girlfriend!
Have a great day!!
xxoo
Deborah

Sandra said...

I know it was NOT funny when it was happening, but it is hilarious now as i read it. so happy you survived all 20 of these and i am sure a lot more. so happy you are back, so happy you are able to type and post, so happy blogger LET you post and have my fingers crossed this will publish when i click the button. the most time i have spent in a hospital is 4 days and you were there for three times that long. welcome home, welcome back to blog land. hugs and kisses coming your way and will still keep praying. since we all prayed up that beautiful hospital, who knows what we will pray up next.

Remington said...

That would not be good....have a fun and restful weekend, my friend!

George said...

Your list brought back many memories of my hospital stay, although I didn't hear anything about tornado warnings.

wildlifewatcher said...

Hi Ginny, The Scripture verse you quoted says it all, doesn't it? Yes! Have a really fine day today! You are in my prayers.

Shug said...

These top 20 things would sure make you want to escape!!

I guess I did not realize that you were there for 10 days...So glad that you are feeling better....I know Phil is taking good care of you and is going to see to it that you follow all of the doctor's orders..
Ya'll have a good weekend.
Shug

Ann said...

Only a true blogger could turn a hospital stay into a blog post....lol Good job Ginny. Have I told you how happy I am to have you back? Sure missed you

Doris Sturm said...

I'm glad you made it through and I hope you continue to heal and get better each cay!

p.s. I usually get a port, or a straight line right out of my neck because my veins are too deep and slippery - I HATE being stuck by inexperienced nurses! I come home all black and blue...

Ann said...

Looks like a very modern hospital. May be tell tell not to build it with too much glass with all the tornadoes that are blowing.