Thursday, May 26, 2011
Top 20 Things You Don't Want To Hear When You're A Hospital Patient
1. Tornado warning
3. What's this?
4. The cafeteria special today is Moo Goo Dry Pork
5. Good morning! You've been here so long, it's time to test you for secondary infections!
6. I'm extending your drug regimen
7. Don't mind the man in the next room. I know he sets off the alarm and screams a lot, but I assure you that he's harmless.
8. From man in the next room: Hey! It's almost nine o'clock! We gotta DO something!
9. We're out of grape popsicles
10. The doctor has just ordered a stat blood test and wants it read within the hour.
11. HOW many days have you been in here?
12. We need to interrupt some of these I.V. drugs, there's not enough hooks on the pole.
13. This vein is shot. Time to page the I.V. nurses to find a new one!
14. I think we forgot to change the furnace filter at home.
15. We only have extremely low sodium ginger ale
16. The regular doctor is on vacation, so you will get a different one every two days. But don't worry, they read notes very well.
17. Did you know that the three rooms surrounding you are all in isolation?
18. We need you to eat, with no protein you won't heal.
19. If this continues, we will have to remove your I.V. and put a port in your collarbone.
20.You must have a very high tolerance for pain!
But don't worry, it all has a happy ending. I got through all this and more because of the many kind and sympathetic nurses and doctors, and my wonderful husband! I had many signs along the way that God WAS with me, he even directed our footsteps by putting heavy fog on the mountain so that we had to to to a different hospital than I the one wanted. And of course His choice was so much better than mine.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5,6